Wedding Day Regrets

Read Ours and Avoid Having Your Own!

I wish my hair didn't look so dumb. I wish my dress wasn't too big. I wish I didn't have such a big reception. While hanging out with some girlfriends recently, we chatted about our wedding days and it seems every bride has a few regrets, woulda coulda shouldas mixed in with all the happy memories. So I complied a list for all you future brides out there in hopes that you can avoid our pain, bad hair days included!

Regret #1- My wedding gown didn't fit right. Too big or too small, it is a bummer when THE DRESS that you only wear for ONE DAY isn't EXACTLY PERFECT! So no matter what, try your dress on around 1 week before the big day and see if any last-minute alterations are needed. Plan and dream all you want but the closer it gets to your day, the more stress you feel (it's inevitable) and some of us lose weight when we stress, some of us gain but almost all women are physically affected by stress. So throw on that gorgeous gown, grab an honest mom, sister or friend and twirl in front of your mirror! Also, I don't care what you plan to lose, how strict or fabulous your diet is- do not order a wedding dress that is too small for you. Order your size and be happy when it needs to be taken in. No one enjoys a grumpy bride in a too-tight dress who can't breathe, feels fat and depressed and won't eat her own wedding cake. You only get to live in this dress for mere hours, enjoy them!

Regret #2- Bad Hair. This is a tough fix because there are so many ways to have bad hair. Regarding bad wedding day hair, I believe the root (yep, hair-pun!) of the problem is trying to look special. You want to look uniquely fabulous on your day, there is nothing wrong with that. The key is practice. Whether you plan to tame those locks yourself or have a friend or professional do your 'do, have a few trial runs and take lots of photos. Then, be honest and be brave! Some brides to be have little experience wearing oodles of make-up and hairspray so they trust the expert they've hired or take mom's word for it and regret forever how weird they looked in all their wedding photos. So have a trial run or two and evaluate those pics for yourself and then speak up for yourself! You should look like you, an extra-special version of you, but still YOU. If you feel the least bit uncomfortable with that girl looking back at you from the photo, try again until you love what you see.

Regret #3- I spent all night in a receiving line. Time for some tough love, ladies. It's a bummer standing in heels, enduring heat, wind, great-grandmothers, etc! But these people are happy for you, they got dressed up to come and celebrate with you. They brought you a lovely gift and they deserve a minute or two of face-time with you. If you don't want to spend hours standing in a receiving line, plan accordingly. Invite less people or give up your leisurely dinner, grab your groom and work the room. Spend a few minutes with every table during the meal and when you've made each guest feel welcome and appreciated, your night is free for dancing, mingling and merriment!

Regret #4- I spent too much time taking photos on my wedding day. While some gorgeous shots of your special day are top priority, thousands of pictures are overwhelming, will clutter your home and suck precious time from the festivities. Be clear with your photographer on your must-have-shots and time constraints. If you're not glued to the idea of the groom not seeing your wedding dress until you walk down the aisle, I strongly recommend having a photo shoot of the bride and groom before the wedding day. You can get some amazing pictures in a much more relaxed setting and schedule and have one less thing to worry about getting done on the big day.

Remember this, future regretters- Something will be less than perfect at your wedding. At the end of the day, if you are married to the person you love most in this world, then it was perfect!

What's Your Song?

The First Dance...
On your wedding day, the song you first dance to as husband and wife says more about you than all the poems, readings and vows spoken just hours before. You are presenting yourselves as an official couple and setting the tone for your future together. Your first dance song can announce that you are a traditional couple, a quirky duo, a classic set, a modern team, or which one of you will be making all the major decisions from here on out!

How do you choose The Song for your first dance? Do you go with "your song" from your dating days? If you have a song from your dating days, is it one you can really dance to? I met my future husband in high school and the song we had declared as ours, Sister Hazel's "All for You" includes the lyrics, "It's hard to say what it is I see in you, wonder if I'll always be with you". Not exactly what you're going for on the day of uniting with your true love for eternity!

Do you go with a classic or does that feel too cliched and your friends will think you're lame? Because, lets be honest, we all like to judge the new couple based on their first dance song. If you pick a current song, will it feel dated in 5, 10, or 50 years? I remember hearing "True Companion" by Marc Cohn at every other wedding in the '90s. It is a great song with a nearly perfect wedding day sentiment but the part that always gave me the heebie-jeebies is, "Then I'll take you home, And with wild abandon, Make love to you just like a true companion". I could never dance with my guy to those words in front of my brothers, grandmothers, parents, etc.! The very act of throwing a wedding reception is already saying to the world, "Hey! I'm for sure going to have sex with this guy tonight!". We don't need to rub it in their faces any further, Mr. Cohn, thank you very much.  Do you even let your fiancé have a say? My fantastic husband's vote was for the song "Beautiful". Aaaww...Sounds like a wonderful choice, right? Oh, I forgot to tell you...this song is a Snoop Dogg jam.  Forget all the curse words and crude innuendos, here's a sampling of the lyrics that might be considered romantic- "Lil cutie, lookin like a student, Long hair witchya big fat bootie". Obviously the fiancé lost voting privileges right then and there.

So what did I do in the end? In the interest of moving on to the next wedding decision, I quickly chose a classic/cliche option:  "The Way You Look Tonight". We went with the fun Frank Sinatra version over the more traditionally chosen smooth and romantic Tony Bennett cover, in case that helps me look slightly less lame. Now that it is all said and done and years later, I'll bet my hubs can't even tell you which song we danced to on our wedding night. That's ok, now I have no guilt about not letting him help with that decision!...and he has his own special memories from that night, mostly involving the buffet table and a few that are, um, private ;). So tell me, what went into your first dance decision? Did you have the song picked out before the guy? Was it easy or a bride vs. groom battle?