The Proposal

He is on his knee in front of me, a pleading and expectant look in his eyes, shiny ring in hand. He's been acting funny all night and now I realize, he was nervous. He had planned and prepared and despite the glitches the night presented, finally just decided to go for it. He is asking me to marry him!

I have waited for this moment my entire life. I have stressed and cried and imagined and fantasized. My jaw has locked in anticipation, I have seriously had to visit the dentist because my nerves have gotten the best of me and now I can only open my mouth halfway. Finally. It. Is. Here. My moment has arrived; this handsome, smart, hilarious, wonderful guy just proposed to me. The answer has been in my heart for years, I know I'm supposed to say yes. Right this second, however, I want to say no.

Am I having doubts as to the happiness a life with this man will bring me? No. I am pissed at how dumb this proposal is. He took me to a field on Christmas night under the guise of showing me my present- a goat. Seriously, a goat. I don't live in a village hundreds of years ago where goats are a hot commodity by the way, so the prospect of owning a goat has me confused. The fact that I'm standing outside in the snow in 10 degrees has me frustrated. He tells me he's picked out a pack-goat that can carry stuff when we're hiking. I have known this guy for 4 years at this point. During those 4 years, I have been on about 3 hikes, zero of those were with him. Seriously, a goat? He picks up on my not so subtle hints that this is not going well, we ditch the field and head to his house. Things go slightly better there and after saying something vague and nice, he is on his knee. So here we are and I want to say no. I want to tell him he gets a do-over. I know I sound difficult (and I am, for sure!) but what you don't know yet is that he was messing with me. I told him I wanted a white gold band, that the silver look was more important to me than the gem on top. The ring this doofus is holding is gold, with a pearl in the setting. I hate that gold ring and he knows it. In the space of 30 seconds or so, I endure my internal debate- if I say yes, I am stuck with this awful ring for the rest of my life. If I say, “No, try again later.” he might not. We're both a little stubborn ;) or so we've been told. I quickly determine that I love the adorable guy in front of me more than I hate the hideous ring. Feeling like a condemned woman, I resolve to wear that ugly ring every day for the rest of my life. I muster all the enthusiasm possible and with a smile I tell him, “Yes!”. Somehow, like magic, as the ring makes it's way from the box to my finger it has transformed and is now a white gold band with a perfect diamond. See? I told you he was messing with me.

Looking back with the advantage of years of marriage, I realize that this proposal sums up our relationship perfectly. I want everything exactly the way I plan, envision and expect them. The trouble is, no one other than me ever gets it exactly the way I would. My husband has graciously accepted the task of making my standards more realistic by constantly doing everything not the way I want. And I am learning that a hilarious proposal story is something I cherish even more than a perfect proposal story.

So fellas, don't stress too much. Of course you should put in a true effort to dazzle your soon-to-be-fiance. Just know that it will probably fall short in one aspect or another and that's alright. Ladies, you've dreamed of this moment longer than he's had to plan it in most cases. Cut your guy some slack and love him for him, no matter how perfect or perfectly awful this one moment in your history together unfolds. A great relationship isn't one wherein everything is perfect every time...a great relationship is one that handles gracefully the bumps along the way.